Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Living & Learning







I may sometimes forget the necessity, but certainly a fave!

Admittedly, I occasionally struggle to understand why people (and by people, from time to time, I may mean myself!) make mistakes. Or struggle with things that on the outside seem so easy.

So I'm trying to get back to basics. What does that mean, you say? It's my philosophy* for both my personal life and my work life. If I am not learning a new thing every single day, it's not worth it. If I am not excited about what I'm doing? It's not worth it. And I expect this not only of myself, but of every single person I interact with. Because you've gotta have passion for what you're doing. So in the end, if you want yourself and the people around you to grow each day, you have also got to have patience. Because that's what it's about. Living & Learning.

Because in the end, you don't want to back to where you've been. Just keep pushing for what comes next. I have always had a funny feeling like there is something huge and incredibly exciting just around the corner.

But that being said, I do not think that it is unreasonable to expect mistakes that have already been discussed to be fixed moving forward!






x's & o's,

Leslie

Currently listening:

Because it fits, may have been my inspiration for this post, and definitely is one of the best CD's ever -

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone, I recommend walking around naked in your living room, Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill), It feels so good (swimming in your stomach), Wait until the dust settles...
You live you learn, You love you learn, You cry you learn, You lose you learn, You bleed you learn, You scream you learn...
I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone, I certainly do, I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time, Feel free, Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind), Hold it up (to the rays), You wait and see when the smoke clears...
You Learn - Alanis Morrissette

*In case you're interested - my dating philosophy? Borrowed so eloquently from OTH:

"Here's my philosophy on dating. It's important to have somebody that can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, y'know, turns you on... And it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other!"

Monday, July 27, 2009

Rewarding Myself


A Fave!

And when it's actually for something (something other than the fact that shopping just makes me feel good?)... Even better!

Not to say that I don't believe in living life to make yourself happy, and if that means buying the occasional trinket, or sporadic shopping sprees, all the better!

But I am also a big fan of setting goals and rewarding the achievement of said goals - whether small goals, lofty goals or anything in between!

So here are my personal (un-work related) goals for the upcoming months (along with their respective rewards!):

30 days! Never thought I'd make it, but it is within sight: Need some new makeup/perfume!














20 more pounds (and the right way, not the wrong way): Forget Me Knot Ring













60 days! So close, yet so far: SPA/Facial Day!
















So, what are you rewarding yourself for? And more importantly, with what!?

x's & o's,
Leslie

And for today's currently listening to:

Step back gonna come at ya fast, I'm driving out of control, And getting ready to crash. Won't stop shaking up what I can, I serve it up in a shot, So suck it down like a man. So baby yes I know what I am, And no I don't give a damn, And you'll be loving it, Some days I'm a super bitch, Up to my old tricks, But it won't last forever, Next day I'm your super girl, Out to save the world, And it keeps getting better!
Keeps Getting Better - Christina Aguilera

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Oh, Sunday


The day it all catches up with me.

The only day of the week that I do not completely over-plan, which never works in my favour.

Because I am a sucker for doing the one thing (or ten things) I shouldn't be doing.

Why do we girls make it so hard on ourselves sometimes?

But the good news?

Every day is another chance to turn it all around.

Here's to a brand new week. To our goals, to our dreams, to our mistakes, to our fun. Here's to the detox. Here's to the rest of our lives.

And last but not least, here's to doing the things that make us happy, not sad. Even if they're not the easiest things.

x's & o's,
Leslie

It's a Jewel kind of night.

Currently Listening:

And you could hurt me, With your bare hands, You could hurt me, Using the sharp end, Of what you say, But I'm lost to you now, And there's no, Amount of reason, To save me. So break me, Take me, Just let me, Feel your arms again...
Break Me - Jewel

As long as we laugh out loud, Laugh like we're mad, Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have, Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch, God, but still we laugh...
Good Day - Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing, It would be that we're all OK, And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful, And useless in times like these, I won't be made useless, I won't be idle with despair, I will gather myself around my faith, For light does the darkness most fear...
Hands - Jewel




Saturday, July 25, 2009

Short & Sweet


Lacking some inspiration today. Maybe due to the weather? Lack of sleep? Perhaps due to worrying about worrying? But mostly due to the fact that even though the cycle has become longer, sometimes your heart still smarts.

So here's today's thought that makes me happy.

Running into the old time high school boys and realizing that while they may have grown a couple of inches, they have really not changed! At all. And it's a good thing. Whatever the label: the crush, the best friend, the ex-boyfriend, no matter how many years have gone by, there is always that lovely, old time bond. And that, is a favorite.

x's & o's,
Leslie

And for the post-script:

I miss you, and you, and you, and you. Oh, and you.

And now off to see if my old time high school girls have changed!

Currently Listening:

Fave Three Summer of '09 Songs to Date:

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover, I'll love you forever, Forever is over...

I know your type, Boy you're dangerous, Yeah, you're that guy, I'd be stupid to trust...

You say that I'm the only one, You say that I'm your number 1, Now you're gone and I feel numb, Tell me where do we go wrong. You were my best friend and my boyfriend, Now it seems like you're my worst friend, I gotta do soul searching, Without you I'm a whole different person. I ain't acting like I used to, I don't feel loved like I used to, It was your love I was used to, Why did I have to lose?


Monday, July 20, 2009

That Green-Eyed Monster...


Not a fave!

And it always works the opposite way that you want it to.

Oh jealousy. That green-eyed monster used to seem like something completely unconquerable. I used to think that it was just something that was genetically programmed and I had clearly lost that lottery. Ugh, sometimes I would even hear what I was saying or thinking and go, "oh god, I sound soooooooo crazy, what are these words coming out of my mouth, I have NO clue what I am saying!!!" but ask me if that stopped me!

But when you think about it, as much as I believe in what goes around comes around, I have to believe that we all control our future. We control our feelings. We control our fate. What would be the point if we weren't the drivers ofour own lives? (And yes, this from the girl who would rather walk an hour than drive 5 minutes!)

Don't sell yourself short. Why blame others for succeeding when you can do just as well if not better? I find that the things that bother me the most about others are (1) things that annoy me about myself or (2) things I need to get the eff over because I am just jealous!

Choose your priorities. Work at them. Nothing is sweeter than something you have earned for yourself. Why in the world would you think you could actually be happy about something someone else didn't do well? Be happy for yourself. Be happy for others.

My friends, this is not just a relationship thing. Work, friends, life, etc. All applicable. People work hard, and people are lucky. Don't resent their luck. Who knows when it will be on your side. And really, who says you're on different sides? Someone else's success is a reason to celebrate! For everyone! Enjoy the celebrations!

And all that being said, ladies - don't be 'that girl'. We all love 'those girls,' but no one likes 'that girl'. Have some respect, it would be lovely if it were for others, but if only just have some for yourself. Don't kid yourself. We've all been there and trust me. Karma's a bitch.

x's & o's,
Leslie

Saturday, July 18, 2009

60 Days...


Makes me happy.

Remember back in the day when 60 days felt like an eternity? Day after day of swinging in the park, playing house and all those fun things?

And then came the years where we couldn't wait to grow up. And now? Time flies. And if you're anything like me, sometimes it feels like life is speeding by so fast that you lose yourself. You forget what you love, you don't take the time to appreciate all that you should.

So...

Time out! I have dedicated 2 months - 60 days - to pure positivity and taking everything as it comes. Here's to finding myself... Once again.

In the next 60 days, here's what I'm doing.

I will..

  • Make new friends, celebrate great friends and connect with long lost friends.
  • Give back! (aka. volunteer!)
  • Learn to sew. A dress for me! A dress for Can Can!
  • Make an Inspiration Board.
  • Promise to something good for my mind, body and soul, every day.
  • Appreciate my family.
  • Dance. Dance a lot. Dance to remember. Dance to forget. Just dance.
  • Learn a new thing absolutely every single day.
  • Make some good choices and some bad choices but make sure to learn from them all!

What would you do with 60 days?

x's & o's,

Leslie

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Being Absolutely Positively Silly...


Fave!

Makes me happy!

Sometimes it's not about being insightful, brilliant, deep, intelligent...

Sometimes it's just about the laugh your face off, giggle forever and a day, literally rolling on the ground, unable to breathe, bust a gut moments.

Now giv'er a try!

x's & o's,
Leslie

Monday, July 13, 2009

Just Breathe...

My new mantra.

New Fave.

5 years ago, 1 year ago, 2 months ago, hell 2 weeks ago. Tell me to calm down? Worst thing you could do. I had somehow gotten it in my mind that calm was not productive. Relaxing was not me. I would have dared you to say that dreaded R word.

Stress upon stress would snowball. One email would ruin my day. One wrong step and watch out world.

Sometimes I would get so caught up in one little detail, that everything would loom over me like a rain cloud. And here I thought that was productive.

So I'm trying something new. And I am not saying that it is easy. But now I can see 'happyness' not only at the end of this journey - but throughout the journey. Because that is what it is all about. It's about the journey. It's about the people with you on this journey. The outcome is nice, but enjoying the ride is much nicer.

Be positive. Because everything happens for a reason. And even if it doesn't, then make yourself a reason. Because we all have a choice. A choice to be happy. A choice to be defeated. And it's okay to feel things. You wouldn't be alive if you didn't feel things. But don't let others dictate your feelings. Don't be scared to get out there and live every single moment with all of your being. Because life, is beautiful. Enjoy every last bit of it. Your work, your friends, your loved ones, everything.

And if..

You're nervous about a presentation? Just breathe.
You find out someone lied? Just breathe.
That last rep at the gym seems much too hard? Just breathe.
You've got insomnia? Just breathe.
Got writers block? Just breathe.
Someone's late? Just breathe.
You're scared for the future? Just breathe.

I am a firm believer that if we take care of ourselves, and our loved ones, something out there will take care of us!

Make someone's day tomorrow. Or just make them smile. Either way, it'll come back to you in spades.

x's & o's,
Leslie

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thursday Night Quotes...


Fave!

Oh so tired today so here's a couple little quotes to brighten your day!

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours." - Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

AND

"What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?"

And today's list of 'happyness'?
  • A marathon session at the gym makes me happy!
  • A friend who walks the extra block makes me happy!
  • Compliments make me happy!
  • Cool showers make me happy!
  • Waking up after a funny dream makes me happy!
  • Being productive makes me happy!
  • So you think you can dance makes me happy!
  • Quality time with the two best parents in the world makes me happy!
  • A healthy savings account makes me happy!
  • Eight glasses of water makes me happy!
That's all!

x's & o's,

Leslie

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop.


So. I wasn't going to write today because, well let's just say I have more than a couple more hours of writing left for tonight! But there are just way too many things going on in my head so here I am sharing.

Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. And not the summer shoes. More like, the way I have been thinking about decisions lately. Or my lack of decision-making to be clear.

Welcome to my thoughts:

Do you live for today? Or do you plan for the future?
Do you throw yourself out there again? Or grow first on your own?
Do you ride it out? Or do you wallow for a bit?

The thing is, there are no guarantees in life. Wouldn't it be great if someone could tell you yes, if you follow all of these steps in textbook fashion you will be happy? You will succeed? You will get over it? You'll find something you never thought possible? You'll make it?

The reason I share? I think it is for two reasons.

1. Writing clears the head. I am a firm believer that getting something down on paper makes it a little more real, and a little less worrisome.

2. Connecting. I know that as sad as you are, as happy as you are, as unsure as you are, there are people in this world who have and are feeling exactly the same heartbreakingly beautiful way. And it's comforting to know that you are not alone in this crazy thing we call life. So, even if there is only one person reading out there who thinks "yes, that is exactly how I feel. I am not alone." Then it is worth it.

x's & o's,

Leslie


But wait. You still want a smile? Sure! What is Beethoven's Favourite Fruit?... BA NA NA NA.

Ha ha ha

Currently listening:

Matchbox 20 - Leave

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Writing in a Diary...


Makes me happy.

Back in grade 6, I started writing in a diary. Nothing serious. Crush on a boy. Drama with this friend. Make up with that friend. Crush on another boy. 

And somewhere along the way, it became a routine. 

So why do we choose to write in a diary? Is it to hear our own voice? Is it to find our voice? Is it to talk things out? Or to get things out? 

I gave it up for a while, took my hiatus from '05 - '09 but baby, I am back in the game.

My question: Does writing something (that you couldn't possibly say out loud and you practically don't believe) get it out for good? Out of your thoughts, out of the way? Or does it set in stone? To live forever in your diary, and also in your mind?

To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure which would be better.

x's & o's,
Leslie

PS.

In the post-script, here are a couple other things that made me smile today, hopefully it brightens your day (or night!):

- Giving cute boys fake numbers makes me happy. Even when you're not sure if you're going to give them the right number until the last digit.
- Dinners with great friends and a bottle of red makes me happy. The kinds of friends, that you can go three years without seeing, but when you get together, it's just like Summer '04.
- Day Two makes me happy.
- A productive day makes me happy.
- Riding out the ups and downs makes me happy. 
- Making lists makes me happy. Pros & Cons. Good Memories & Bad Memories. Just Memories. To Do Lists. Wish Lists. What lists do you write?
- Positivity makes me happy. I think all too often we dwell on the things we can't change, or the negative side of things we can't change. We can't be happy all the time, but we don't need to frustrate ourselves when it is completely unnecessary.
- Self-control makes me extremely happy.
- Flossing my teeth... well at least that makes my dentist happy!
and... to be honest? A mixture of Britney Spears, Eminem and Matchbox 20 is REALLY making me happy.

And there's ten.


Monday, July 6, 2009

Blank Canvas...


Not going to lie. Sitting here tonight, trying too hard to think of what makes me happy is not what I was originally thinking with my 60 days of 'happyness'. 

What I was thinking, was that no matter how sad, or how tired, or how worn down I feel, there is always something that can make me smile. Take me out of my mind for a couple of minutes. And that, I would like to share.

Today, there were moments. An email here, a walk there, a hug here, and maybe even a couple laughs there. But honestly, in between those fleeting moments, I found myself scouring my memories to come up with my "happy place."

Yet, today I heard something that made complete sense. Maybe that happy place doesn't need to be a past memory. Maybe it doesn't even have to be a hope for the future. Maybe it can just be a blank slate. Or in my case, a blank canvas. Knowing that possibilities are endless. Clear your mind. Get things done. Corny, maybe? But just give me this one!

So yes, I have great memories. Memories that make me smile, memories that make me laugh, memories I will cherish forever. But, right now, at this moment, I'm kind of liking the idea that I am in control of my blank canvas.

x's & o's, 
Leslie


Great Quotes & Great Blogs...


Make me Smile.

Fave.

"When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop of into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

MY pursuit for Happyness...

(and yes the spelling is intentional!)

For the next sixty days, I am dedicating this blog to finding the small things in life that truly make me happy, make me laugh, or make me smile. Stay tuned. First post within the next 24 hours!

Today's thought:

Isn't it great when you randomly stumble upon something that somebody else wrote, as if they were thinking the exact same thing you are, but have crystalized it perfectly? Makes me feel connected to this world, a little less lost, a little more sure that we are all learning together.

"Where does your writing go when it is too personal to be a blog and too relevant to be kept in a folder on your desktop?"

I wish I knew. Does anybody out there?

And for a smile:


x's & o's, 
Leslie

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Breakups, Breakdowns and Break-overs...

Not fun. Definitely not a fave. 

Breakups are incredibly hard. There are no words to be strung together that could possibly describe all that you feel. And trust me, I've tried. All that is left is that they are incredibly, incredibly hard.

And it always happens, that you never remember the bad times. Always the good. Only the good. Whether you had a crappy boyfriend, or a great boyfriend, the memories that stick with you at first, and sometimes forever, are only the good. So counterproductive to healing.

And, oh the ups and downs. In life, we should cherish the ups and downs. It's not just a cliché that the lows make you appreciate how truly great the highs can be. But during breakups, you get to a point where you want to stay down and not ride out the highs. Because the shock of each new low chips your heart a bit more, every single time.

And friends. Mmm Friends. Whether they are offering coffee, conversation, good clichés, terrible clichés, legal or illegal substances, you need your friends. Because they make everything worth it. To them, you can say what you're really feeling. You can say what you want to feel, hoping that soon it will become what you actually feel.

And technology. What does that have to do with breaking up you ask? Everything. If you broke up in 2004 all you had to do was "delete from cell phone." Now there are a million more thing to check off, de-follow, de-friend, delete from phone, delete from bbm, etc., etc. etc. 

And what's even harder, is when you understand. You know exactly why you had to break up, but it still doesn't stop your tears. Or your panic attacks. It still doesn't bring your hunger back. Or put you back to sleep when you wake up 6 times each night. It still doesn't make it okay. Because a breakup rocks your world. And not in a good way.


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! F*#k, it hurts. It's rocking the very core of your being. You never saw it coming. You knew this was going to happen. You were going to do it first. You only broke it off with him before he broke it off with you. You guys were supposed to be together forever. You never liked him that much anyways. He was such a good kisser. The sex wasn't that great. You really liked his family. He hated your friends. You hated his shoes. You miss him sooooo much. There's no doubt about it - breakups suck. And now here you are holding this stupid "breakup Book" because, quite honestly, you'd do anything not to feel like this and maybe this book will shed some light on what you're going through. Maybe you'll get some sleep tonight. Or stop sleeping all the time."

There are so many more things that are running through my head, that I have yet to put into words, that I can't say out loud, that I have said out loud but would never want written down. And that, is why I am excited to begin writing in my diary again.  Not sure when I stopped writing, probably around the time I exited University and begun this incredible (but incredibly busy) life called The Real World. But here I go again, and I am so excited, because there is nothing like going back years later and reading a diary. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Because the good makes you smile. The bad helps you understand that you've been here before and that every day is another chance to turn it all around. And the ugly, the ugly shows that yes, you have learned some great lessons on this journey we call life.

So in the spirit of sharing, welcome to a couple excerpts from "Leslie's Diary '05." But let's clarify, one is a personal thought. One, a quote that was applicable in '05 and again in '09 (completely different circumstances, but some thing still never change). And one, a kind note, from a wonderful friend, that picks me up, makes me smile, and puts things in perspective.

"My analysis of the panic attacks last night? It finally got to me that it is completely over. I felt like staying in bed all day but when I saw the sun out? I couldn't. Because I am not going to be one to "over" mourn a relationship ending. I have no clue what I'm doing. All I know is that thinking of a life where I don't get to prove what I could be hurts. I just want to mean more. I want everything to mean more. And now, it's a time for big changes."

"A person can only get over a broken heart if they are willing to let go of all the pieces."

"Le but de ce monde est de voyagé et de visité le plus de merveille possible. Chaque levé de soleil est un nouveaux défi. Prends la vie un jour a la fois, et profite de chaque moment partagé en ce monde!" 

x's & o's, 
Leslie

Friday, July 3, 2009

I love...

...how I have such amazing family and friends that will do absolutely anything at a minute's notice when I reach out in need.
...random Thursday night outings that are filled with old friends, new friends, beer, martinis and sleeping in a cute little downtown den!
...those times in your life where songs speak directly to you. The times when you become a lyrics person over a beats person (though the beats are still pretty good).
...being challenged and learning new things every single day.
...so you think you can dance!
...the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Yes, the lows are tough but it is not just a cliché that without them, nothing would feel amazing.
...flowers from great, giving, wonderful people! 
...the realization that not knowing what's coming next is exciting, not scary.
...shoes, purses, clothes (evident from the 3 closets I have filled at home!)
...a blank slate.
...making someone laugh.
...how you can go 5 years without seeing someone, and when you get together, it's like nothing ever changed.
...how I have had more "moving box" ex-boyfriends, than "shoebox" ex-boyfriends.
...all things MTV. Always have, always will.
...Josh Duhamel, Bradley Cooper, Wentworth Miller.
...Greg Behrendt and Amiira Rutola-Behrendt. "If you were quitting smoking, you wouldn't buy cigarettes, hang out with people who smoked cigarettes, go to places where people were smoking cigarettes, or get drunk and call cigarettes at 4 a.m. begging them to come over for one last smoke."
...all things Kate Hudson! 

That's all for now!

x's & o's, 
Leslie