Lazy Days...

Here's lazy for ya. And by lazy I mean a 16 hour day at the office, to be continued for 2 hours post blog, and an up and at em at 5 am tomorrow morning wake up call!

It's simple.

Three words.

Copy. Paste. Blog.

Because apparently, there are people out there who share my problems!

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from
which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

5. That's enough, Nickelback.

6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

12. The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

13. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

16. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

17. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

21. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

22. My friends Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

26. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's H as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Humpback? "

28. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

29. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

31. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

33. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

34. Bad decisions make good stories.

35. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

38. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

39. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

40. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

41. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

42. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

43. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

44. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

46. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

47. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

48. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

49. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

50. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

51. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. Too soon Toronto?

52. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

54. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

55. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

56. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

57. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

61. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


62. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. Or Vex. Or Bud Light Lime.

I hope you laughed as hard as I did. I am not usually a fan of 'forwards' ( Ahem mom. Just kidding. But seriously...) but this time, bff, you did good!

Ps. You are not crazy. There are numbers missing. I did not include those that did not cause me to physically laugh out loud (numbers x, x, and x particularly caused me to literally Roll. On. The. Floor. Laughing. But which ones exactly? That is one secret I will never tell. And yes, I am that self centered to think that you too would share my exact same feelings on what is funny and what isn't.

The usual x's and o's,

Leslie

Love Yourself...

Because I do!

And not the cliché 'you've gotta love yourself before anyone else will love you' mushy kind of love. Have a crush on yourself. A giant crush. The can't wait to see ya, giggle to yourself, wake up smiling, good old fashioned kinda crush!

Seriously - Correct me if I am wrong, but whether you're dating, single, maybe even married (a subject I highly doubt I will be an expert on in the near future!), whatever you are - isn't life just a little more exciting with a crush?

Fall in love with yourself. Add yourself to your list of crushes. Trust me. It's just more fun!

And to clarify - I do realize that falling in love is not exactly the same thing as crushing (no matter how hard you are crushing). But through my mid-twenties faux-crisis paradigm (and by crisis, I may mean waking up every Saturday to either leave a bff vm or receive one with the exact same content - i.e. "please call me back, I'm going to shoot my face off - but in a good way!") I'll take it! Love, crushes, questionable decisions, and abso-freakin-lutely everything else in between! What can I say? These days, life is a blast!

x's & o's,

Leslie

Currently Listening:

New York!! I think I'm from where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do. Out of New York! These streets will make you feel brand new. The lights will inspire you. Let's hear it for New York.

Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z (ft. Alicia Keys)

It's time, just let me be there for you anytime. You're so fine, for you I'd join the longest line.

So Fine - Sean Paul

Take me on the floor, I can't take it any more. I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love. Just take me on the floor, I can give you more. You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch.

Take Me On The Floor - The Veronicas

Currently LOVING:

Well, all I really want to do is love you. A kind much closer than friends use. But I still can't say it after all we've been through.

If it Kills Me - Jason Mraz

Seriously. Download it. This song makes me experience strong feelings of love, lust, desire, happiness. Pay for it. Buying music makes music, and I need some more of this! =)

Lights, Camera, Action!

Ever get the feeling that a moment in your life would make the perfect movie scene? Or at least a kick ass music video? You know. Those times when you experience something greater. The song on your iPod aligns with the soundtrack of your life. And you can almost see yourself from above.

Funny moments. Sad moments. Awkward moments. Introspective moments. Great moments. These are the times of your life. From your thoughts and your iPod.

Is it a slow motion scene? A monologue? A flashback? Maybe it's jumping fences in the rain to the tune of Guster and Dashboard. Or perhaps a ride on the subway, when it's like a flash of lightening and you finally just get it. Those times it's usually Theory of a Nickelback. Maybe it's the dinner, the drinks, the dancing and the drama of girls night. Yup... Britney. And sometimes, it's No Doubt on the radio while giving your best friend in the whole world the low down on the questionable decisions we call a weekend!

Whatever the moment - enjoy it, my friends. Smile about the sad. Laugh over the awkward. And live a little more, each and every single day.

x's & o's,

Leslie

Currently Listening:

So long sweet summer. I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays. So long sweet summer. I fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away. Hey thanks, thanks for that summer. It's cold where you're going. I hope that your heart's always warm.

So Long Sweet Summer - Dashboard

Mr. Photographer, I think I'm ready for my close-up. Tonight. Make sure you catch me from my good side. Pick one! These others just wanna be me. Is that money in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Kill The Lights - Britney Spears

If today was your last day. Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart? You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars. Regardless of who you are. And would you call those friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? And would you find the one you're dreaming of? If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late. Could you say goodbye to yesterday? Would you live each moment like your last?

If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback

Random Thoughts and Stolen Words...

Because there just aren't enough hours in my (work) day!

Mini break.

I think happiness is a choice, not a feeling. I think rules, especially golden ones, are made to be broken. I am not sure I completely believe that anyone who has dated can ever be friends. I'm starting to believe your 20's are for dating, your 30's are for relationships. I love puppies but will never be one of those people who kiss their puppies on the lips. And lastly, I have absolutely no idea what to wear sailing on Friday!

How did life change so much in, what feels like, the blink of an eye.

"Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day you feel something else, something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment, you realize you're happy."

x's & o's,

Leslie

Cottage Life: Bonus Entry!

And for a little bit of fun... Straight from Mazengah Island, Muskoka, Ontario, Canada, Planet Earth - Enjoy!

Suggestions

For the guidance of guests at Mazengah Island. Muskoka.

1. Remember that you are here to have a “Good Time” so do all you can to accomplish that end.
2. Canoeing is a delightful way of passing the time pleasantly. Especially when in the company of an “Eligible Companion.”
3. Wandering off in Couples is highly commended as a means of becoming better acquainted with each other and as leading sometimes to “Happy and Lasting” Results.
4. Bathing is always a refreshing pastime, and should be indulged in “Early and Often.” Bathing suits to be worn for bathing purposes only, and not as “Dress Suits.”
5. Sportsmen, and those having ‘Hunting Proclivities” will find great sport in hunting, hauling up and sawing logs for the fireplace.
6. Dancing, and all such “Innocent Amusements” should be taken advance of whenever the opportunity arises.
7. Fishing is a pleasant, if not always “profitable” occupation, but worms being scarce, they should be used as bait and not as refreshments.
8. Three persons occupying a hammock at the same time is a strain upon “two of them” as well as upon the hammock strings.
9. Engaged and Semi-engaged couples will find Mazengah a most delightful spot, where they will never be allowed to forget they are “The Happiest People on Earth.”
10. “Eat Heartily” for being late to meals in Muskoka is looked upon as the beginning of a “Weak Mind” and absence from same as Confirmed Insanity.
11. While it is permissible for Ladies to use rats in the arrangement of their toilet, it would be most wise to select any other animal for the same purpose in the country.
12. Newly married people are always a welcome addition to any home affording an object lesson in the uninitiated, a study to those of uncertain age and a source of amusement for the rest of us.

The Call

Boom-a-la-ka! Boom-a-la-ka! Bow! Wow! Wow!

Is the beginning of Mazengah call.

And Ching-a-la-ka! Ching-a-la-ka! Chow! Chow! Chow!

The next part you should bawl.

If you think these verses hazy, and those who shout them crazy,

Just try yourself to give our call.

You’ll be the craziest of us all.

Anonymous.

Not Copyrighted.

The Dock Side of Life...

Fave! Makes me Happy! Love it!

I miss the cottage already (and yes, I do know how ridiculous it is that I drove back to the city on the Friday leading up to one of the best weekends of this summer, but I do have a good reason. Many people are afraid of things like spiders, snakes, the dark, etc. I am also afraid of all of these things but I also have the unusual (I think) fear of missing a good party. And had

I not driven South when everyone else was driving North on Friday afternoon, I definitely would have missed out on great times!)

So back to the cottage. While I do consider myself the epitome of an uptown city girl, and cottaging is perhaps the closest I may ever come to camping (except for the odd Chaudiere field trip, of which all I can remember is the strong smell of Caesars...) I abso-freakin-lutely love my cottage!!

And here are my top 10 personal cottage loves (no particular order, all love!):

• I love waking up to the sun with absolutely no concept of what time it is!
• I love doing yoga on the dock, both morning and evening. Though to be honest, my favorite yoga is inspired by matchbox 20 and a little Britney rather than chants and the sounds of nature!
• I love floating just below the surface of water. You feel alone yet completely connected to the world. I am 100% pisces and I could live all day every day in the lake!
• I love diving into the water and letting the shock of cold water awake my senses! I hope I never become one of those "Ease it in/Wade/Ladder users!" ;)
• I love how at the cottage you never have to brush your hair but the combination of lake water, sand and sun makes your natural hair look a million times better than it ever does even after 2 hours spent at the hair dresser!
• I love the smell of Banana Boat tanning oil. (Though, lets be honest, that scent also gives me memories of Palm Springs '09!)
• I love cottage mirrors. Their reflection is, for some reason, always ten million times more flattering than any city mirror!
• I love reading a book a day. Only in Muskoka can I indulge my voracious appetite for all things chick lit!
• I love when a great old time song comes onto the radio while doing dishes (I do not so much love actually doing the dishes but there are only so many nights you can get out of 'em).

and lastly,

• I love QT time with my family! Friends, boyfriends, ex-bfs, acquaintances all come and go (from the cottage and in life) but FAMILY IS FOREVER!!!!

x's & o's,

Leslie

Last Week in Photos (also no particular order in case you're wondering)...

Taking Out the Trash!

Makes me happy?

This could be part rant, part lesson, part insights based on my "vast" knowledge of all things relationship (insert a lot of sarcasm here!).

Not sure why I was listening to them, as I am in a hate-all-breakup-songs phase these days, but while skimming my masterpiece of an iPod playlist a couple of days ago it sparked a couple of thoughts.

First Cut is the Deepest (Sheryl Crow - love the singer, not so much the song)

I would have given you all of my heart, but there's someone who's torn it apart, and he's taken almost all that I've got, but if you want, I'll try to love again, baby I'll try to love again...

- don't believe that.

Damaged (Danity Kane - don't even love the group, not sure why it's on the iPod!)

Damaged, damaged, damaged, damaged, I thought that I should let you know, That my heart is damaged, damaged, so damaged, so damaged, And you can blame the one before. So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?

- even worse.

Maybe I've just learned from the worst case(s), but let's be honest. You don't bring the garbage from an old relationship and dump it on the new guy. Not smart! Where's the good in that? Learn from your garbage (ok, my metaphor may need a little work!), sort through your own junk. Recycle the good stuff and then throw out your own god damn trash and start fresh! Because the new guy certainly doesn't deserve that (and besides, he's probably got his own junk that you absolutely want no part of!)

That's all!

x's & o's,

Leslie

V to the a to the cation!!!

Short and sweet my friends. So short, that it probably belongs in a Tweet rather than a blog! But as Twitter is, unfortunately, letting me down today - here it is!

I am all out. All out of inspiration, meaningful thoughts, oh so tired (though surprisingly still quite positive!). Luckily, it is T minus 1 day until that lovely oh-so-fleeting vacation!

And much like Sick Days, let me tell you. Vacations are not just for you! In fact, in the client-driven business (and perhaps otherwise), they may not be for you at all! Vacations are not something you take just because the higher-ups tell you to take it! You NEED it! You must relax, renew, rejuvenate! You must check out so that you can come back stronger, more insightful, and more motivated than ever before.

So, other than the occasional dockside-twitterberry update, (though highly doubtful, since my father does not believe so much in 'cottage technology' and I would prefer that my blackberry remain a blackberry and not a skipping stone!) catch ya on the flipside!!

x's & o's,

Leslie

Currently listening (& abso-freakin-lutely LOVING!!)

Life's a game but its not fair, I break the rules so I don't care, So I keep doin' my own thing, Walking tall against the rain, Victory's within the mile, Almost there don't give up now, Only thing that's on my mind is who's gonna run this town tonight, heeeey, heeeey, heeeey, Who's gonna run this town tonight, Hey-hey-hey-heyyy...

Run This Town - Jay Z ft. Rihanna & Kanye West (quite the powerful trio, if I do say so myself!)

Things that make me happy...

Long Weekends!

Working Out, at the gym, at home, on the subway, everywhere!

Sunny Weather... Finally!

Blueberry Muffins made with love by my momma!

Exciting Work Challenges (even if they occasionally, from time to time, on a regular basis, infringe on my weekends)!

Lounging in Bed until 12:00 PM.

Roswell High books... yes, High as in about high school, which probably means written for middle schoolers!

Big Shiny Tunes II!

T minus one day until 30 days, which means T minus one day until a reward!

What makes you happy this long weekend!?

lots and lots of x's & o's,

Leslie

I believe in the sand beneath my toes, The beach gives a feeling, An earthy feeling, I believe in the faith that grows, And the four right chords can make me cry, When I'm with you I feel like I could die, And that would be all right, All right.

Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

Lost Girls

More of a thought than a fave /not fave.

There's this ongoing memo in my blackberry where I write random thoughts that occasionally make it into this blog. And somewhere along the crazy, short-lived journey that I call "last night" I strung together a couple somewhat coherent words.

"Lost girls. Like lost boys. Like Peter Pan. But not really."

So, in the dawn of the new day, here's my take on it..."

Peter Pan's Lost Boys are "boys who were lost by their nannies in places such as Kensington Gardens. Having gone unclaimed for seven days, they were wisked off to Neverland, where they live with Peter Pan. There are no "lost girls", because (as Peter explains) girls are too clever to be lost in this manner."

Well, my friends, us girls may be too clever to be lost in that manner, but we sure know how to get lost. Life hits you hard. The good, the great, the not so great, the bad. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Too many choices to make. Which by no means is a bad thing, choices are opportunities. But even opportunities can be scary. And when I'm scared, it makes me feel lost.

But enough with the whining! The reason for this post is the fact that I am thankful! Because I have amazing people in my life who make the fear go away. And bring the smiles. And the laughs. And the patience. And the love.

So here is to my girls who work hard, play hard, but are always there... To my boys, ditto... To my family, I could not ask for more...

You all make my life!

And to all your lost girls out there - you're not alone. And come on now, even the Lost Boys eventually grew up and everything worked out for them. Who knows what's around the corner for us!

x's & o's,

Leslie